[Voices of Japanese Parents Abroad_Korea Vol.1] Five Births in Korea

Nestled in the peaceful countryside of southwestern Korea lies the small rural town of Haenam. It is here that Satoko has led a truly remarkable life of raising children. She married her Korean husband in 2016 and has given birth to five children. In this column series, we will unravel her unique and powerful experiences. The first installment focuses on her experiences of childbirth in a regional city in Korea.

Childbirth Not Left Entirely to the Hospital — Confusion in the Korean Medical System

— You have given birth to five children in the regional city of Haenam. What was the most difficult part of giving birth in Korea?

Perhaps because Korea as a whole is facing a declining birth rate, I felt that many doctors and nurses did not have much experience with childbirth. Compared to Japan, I often found the medical staff’s responses confusing.

For example, in Japan, medical staff will wait for hours, sometimes even days, and support natural labor. In Korea, however, I felt they were far less patient. Even when labor had not progressed, they would say, “Let’s use medication to get the baby out,” or “If this medication doesn’t work, we’ll go straight to surgery.” There seemed to be a strong tendency to rush the delivery. I myself was pushed into delivery forcefully, which caused me intense pain.

This may just be my personal impression, but perhaps because I was a foreigner, I sometimes felt I was being treated rather roughly, even condescendingly. At one hospital, while I was still bleeding, I was told to massage my uterus to help it contract, but with no real explanation—just, “Make sure you massage your uterus.” I was exhausted and fell asleep, and when they saw I hadn’t done it, they scolded me harshly, yelling, “Why didn’t you do it?” Dealing with this kind of high-handed attitude was very difficult.

*The photo above is for illustrative purposes only.

Giving Birth in a Rural Area — Choosing Amid Distance and Anxiety

— We heard that you delivered your children at several different hospitals. Could you tell us how you chose them and what each experience was like?

My eldest son and eldest daughter were born at a maternal and child health center in Mokpo, which is about a 90-minute drive from Haenam. If any emergency occurred at a hospital in Haenam, we would have had to go all the way to a university hospital in Gwangju, so we chose Mokpo because it was closer.

My second son was born at a small general hospital in Haenam, about 30 minutes from our home. When my first child was born, my husband could not accompany me to checkups and the long drive was very hard on us. Also, during the COVID-19 pandemic, we wanted to avoid going out as much as possible, so we reluctantly chose a nearby hospital. Because the number of women giving birth there was small, I had a private room during my stay and received very attentive nursing care.

For my third son, due to special circumstances, I gave birth at Chonnam National University Hospital in South Jeolla Province, about two and a half hours from our home.

Overcoming a Diaphragmatic Hernia — A Miraculous Birth

— We heard that your third son had a serious medical condition. What was his situation like, and what was the delivery at the university hospital like?

My third son was diagnosed with a congenital condition called a diaphragmatic hernia. His intestines had moved through a hole in the diaphragm toward his lungs, putting pressure on his lungs and heart. The doctors told me, “There is a 50 percent chance that he will survive after birth, and only half of that—25 percent—that he will be born healthy.”

At the university hospital, they initially recommended induced labor or surgery. However, since I was hoping to have more children after my fourth, I wanted to avoid having my abdomen cut if at all possible. In the end, although a date for induced labor had already been set, my water broke naturally, and labor began on the way to the hospital.

It takes about two and a half hours by car to reach the hospital, and it was snowing heavily that day, making the journey extremely difficult. My husband was so shaken that he could barely move, so I had to call the emergency department myself while heading to the hospital.

Unlike the local hospitals, the midwives and nurses at the university hospital were incredibly kind. We had been told that the baby might not even cry at birth, but the moment he was born, we heard his cry. His breathing stabilized afterward, and it was ultimately confirmed that his life was not in danger.

*The photo above is for illustrative purposes only.

“Facing Life” Through a Home Birth — Trust with the Midwife and the Husband’s Presence at Delivery

— Why did you choose a home birth for your fifth child for the first time?

Through giving birth at various hospitals, I had a wide range of experiences. But for my fifth child, I chose to have a midwife come to our home and deliver at home. This turned out to be the best choice for me.

At hospitals, the care was never quite as thorough as I would have liked, and I also had to think about my older children. With the home birth, I could truly focus on myself and the baby. The moment the baby emerged and the time spent enduring contractions and waiting for the baby to descend felt deeply meaningful and precious.

In particular, the midwife had a warm, motherly presence, which made it easy to build a bond that went far beyond the usual relationship between a pregnant woman and a midwife.

— We heard that the midwife also actively encouraged your husband to be present at the birth.

That’s right. In fact, my husband had never been able to attend any of my previous deliveries because of work. Even this time, just as I was about to give birth, he said, “I have to go to the neighborhood association meeting.” The midwife immediately stopped him, saying simply, “Wouldn’t it be better for you to stay?” I was in no position to argue at that moment, but thanks to her words, my husband was able to attend a birth for the first time. We were both extremely satisfied with that experience.

Children on a walk (photo provided by Satoko)

[Voices of Japanese Parents Abroad_Korea]
Vol.1 Five Births in Korea
Vol.2 Postpartum Recovery in Korea—A Time to Truly Rest

Family Dialogue・Column