The Culture of "Amae" and Attachment

Exploring the connection between young children and their parents through "attachment" and "amae." In the context of today’s concerns about the weakening of parent-child bonds in Japan, understanding the relationship between "attachment" and "amae"—two concepts that describe the emotional connection between young children and their caregivers—has become an important topic of study.

• The Relationship between Attachment and Amae
• Is Attachment the Same as Dependency?
• The Transformation of Amae in Modern Japan

The Relationship between Attachment and Amae

Child attachment is now a widely known term. The recognition that forming a secure attachment between a young child and their caregiver is crucial is likely shared by many. On the other hand, "amae," while a common Japanese word, became known as a term representing a cultural characteristic of the Japanese people after psychiatrist Takeo Doi published his book "The Structure of 'Amae'" in the 1970s, which became a bestseller.

Doi (1971) considered "amae" to be the prototype of "seeking out one's mother after the infant's mind has developed to a certain extent and they have come to perceive their mother as a separate entity." He argued that this psychology of amae remains strong among Japanese people even into adulthood, and that it is deeply ingrained in Japanese culture.

Both attachment and amae are terms that describe the relationship between young children and their parents, suggesting a strong connection between the two. The concept of attachment was originally proposed by the British psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, while Takeo Doi, who proposed the theory of "amae" (a Japanese term for a child's need for affection or dependence), was a Japanese psychiatrist and psychoanalyst. The two were, in a sense, contemporaries and colleagues, and it's likely that psychiatric and psychological debates unfolded surrounding both concepts. The nature of these debates is a fascinating topic.

For example, how is the relationship between spoiling young children and attachment understood? Are the formation of a secure attachment the same as spoiling a child? If so, should parents spoil their children? Isn't this a typical question that many Japanese parents (adults) face while raising children?

Is Attachment the Same as Dependency?

Surprisingly, however, the relationship between these two is not so simple.

The English translation of Doi's "The Structure of Dependence" is "The Anatomy of Dependence." That is, it is translated as "the structure of dependence," but Bowlby (1988) says the following about attachment: "The tendency to exhibit attachment behavior in certain situations is considered to be an essential part of human nature, so referring to it as 'dependency' is not only easily misunderstood, but the word 'dependent' also has derogatory connotations, making it completely inappropriate." In other words, Bowlby criticizes the introduction of the psychological perspective of "dependence" into attachment behavior, which should be understood as a biological function, and clearly rejects it.

And Kudo, an attachment researcher and clinical psychologist, points out the difference between attachment behavior and Dependence as follows (Kudo, 2020). "...When an infant faces a frightening situation and runs to its caregiver, would we call that 'amae'? When a small child is frightened by a large dog barking and clings to its mother's leg, would we call that 'amae'? (omitted)...I believe that this is one of the most appropriate questions to refute the equivalence of 'amae' and attachment."

Thus, attachment researchers emphasize that the behavioral science discussion of attachment is different from 'amae,' but Doi himself argued that 'amae' is a concept that encompasses attachment. In "The Structure of 'Amae' Continued," Doi states the following: "John Bowlby's famous behavioral science study on the attachment between infants and their mothers can be said to deal precisely with the 'amae' phenomenon. In fact, if you translate 'attachment' as 'affection,' it is almost indistinguishable from 'amae'." Furthermore, he says that since 'amae' also represents the emotions and desires that trigger behavior, it is better to use 'amae' when considering human psychology (Doi, 2001).

Thus, the debate surrounding the relationship between attachment and "amae" (dependence/indulgence) is still in its infancy. At the same time, a new theme has been added to this discussion: the transformation of the "amae" culture in Japanese society over the past 20 years.

The Transformation of Amae in Modern Japan

In 2007, Doi included an essay titled "Dependence Then and Now" in the revised edition of her book "The Structure of Dependence." In it, she makes a very interesting observation: "Nowadays, when people hear the word 'dependence,' they only think of one-sided 'spoiling' or self-centered 'spoiling'." Moreover, she says that she did not address these two things in "The Structure of Dependence" because they are different from "dependence." However, Doi points out with surprise that modern Japanese people tend to think of these two things when they hear the word

" The example of dependence in child-rearing that I mentioned earlier in this essay was also about "spoiling." As a result, it can be thought that modern Japanese people tend to view "dependence" negatively. However, when Doi discussed dependence, she did not treat it negatively; rather, she considered it to be something necessary for all human beings. Considering

this, from the perspective of dependence, it is possible that the most fundamental mother-child relationship (parent-child relationship) among Japanese people is changing. As a result, Japanese clinicians, especially younger ones, may be losing their ability to naturally grasp the quality of relationships in their clients' "amae" (dependence/indulgence). In this respect, it is noteworthy that Kudo, in his 30s, carefully introduces the description in Doi's paper, yet repeatedly states that he "does not quite understand" Doi's argument.

Therefore, the clinical significance of considering the relationship between attachment and amae at this point would be "attachment in the context of the transformation of the amae culture." This seems to be an important psychological theme concerning the analysis of the current state of parent-child relationships (and even human relationships) among Japanese people, which are said to have become weaker.

(Published with additions and revisions from an article in the August 2024 issue of "EN-ICHI FORUM")

References

• J・ボウルビィ（1988/1993：二木武監訳）母と子のアタッチメント―心の安全基地．医歯薬出版．
• 土居健郎（1971/2007）「甘え」の構造．弘文堂．
• 土居健郎（2001）続「甘え」の構造．弘文堂．
• 工藤晋平（2020）支援のための臨床的アタッチメント論―「安心感のケア」に向けて．ミネルヴァ書房．

Family Issue briefs and Researches